


The Spectral Agency

by RatedOni



Series: The Adventures of The Spectral Agency [1]
Category: South Park
Genre: Civil War, Dark Fantasy, F/F, F/M, Gothic, Great Old Ones, Lovecraftian, M/M, Monster Hunters, New Kid and Henrietta BFFs, Or as close it can get with Henrietta, Profanity like Crazy, Racism, Red Riding Hood Elements, Superheroes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-02-16 12:15:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21507784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RatedOni/pseuds/RatedOni
Summary: The New Kid had finally done it; the drugs were gone, the bad guys were defeated, Freedom Pals was the one franchise that had a bright future and most important, the New Kid's parents were alive and so loving that they could kill Scott due to sugar overdose, now the only thing that worried the New Kid was the fact that she haven't told her friends that she was a girl without losing them all.Sadly, her peaceful life after defeating Mitch Conner, saving Lake Tardicaca and even defeating the Vamp Kids on Casa Bonita was not possible. Nothing could prepare her for her next adventure... a complete rewind, just before the search for Scrambles began and the New Kid had become involved with a superhero civil war.She is back in time, with more danger, more powers and more villains.Enter the Spectral Agency.
Relationships: Annie Knitts/New Kid | Douchebag, Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak, Henrietta Biggle/Kenny McCormick, Stan Marsh/Wendy Testaburger
Series: The Adventures of The Spectral Agency [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1550275
Comments: 1
Kudos: 58





	1. Issue #1

**Author's Note:**

> Basically, my idea of what could happen to the New Kid after starting a new game with all the DLCs finished, because you have all artifacts, costumes, powers and companions unlocked from those missions, so how to explain them' Well, with more time travel shenanigans, because why not? I mean, I just wanted an excuse to put Henrietta and Mintberry Crunch in the main story, but with a ton of new stuff, new villains, changes that will derail the story way sooner and a main character that finally has some personality.

Morning, at least that’s what it seemed from the light that came from the New Kid’s window, but with how dim it still was it wasn’t hour to get up. This was the time the New Kid enjoyed the most, mainly because right now, that period of time was the only hour in which there was no expectations, no anxieties and no troubles gunning for her mental and body health; in just a couple of weeks, the New Kid had seen its fair share of crazy shenanigans and it had been nonstop. For someone that had been born captive in a government experiment, that was saying something.

Even if today was a school day, the kid wanted to just remain for a little while longer in bed, where it was toasty and comfortable. From all the places the family of three had been living on their long run from the government agency that had studied the two adults’ powers of social media, Colorado was definitely the one place they haven’t been really prepared for.

The mountain town was right by the frontier with Canada and that should have warned them of the kind of weather the town had; with constant chilly wind and snow falling on the street, the New Kid was definitely not prepared for the blinding white that blanketed the streets and houses.

Well, at least when they arrived it was a little bit warm, even though most people in South Park used long sleeved clothes and hats to combat the cold in the streets, so when the family of three arrived at South Park, the New Kid only had a handful of clothes that were able to withstand the weather; thank goodness that the clothes Cartman had given them when they joined Kupa Keep; the coat and hoodie of the Rogue class truly saved the New Kid those first few days of adventure.

And if climate things haven’t been weird enough, then came the stuff of comics, because if LARPing was a little weird, but not strange for a bunch of (well, more like a fuckton of) kids, she was sure that fighting Aliens, Underpants Gnomes, Nazi Zombies, a Giant Fetus Nazi Zombie and the same MiB-type assholes that had originally kidnapped her parents and from whom they were running from was not part of the daily life of a 4th grader, at least, for those that don’t live in South Park.

Then, on top of that, the fact that super powers were a real thing, fighting the police, criminal kingpins, Raisins girls, ninjas, Crab People, Italian mafia, strippers, ghosts, monsters and zombies. It was crazy to think that so many screwed up things had happened, that it made the New Kid’s head spin. At least now things were better considering what she had done to save the day in the end.

Just as this thought appeared on its mind, the New Kid’s quickly opened her eyes and almost jumped out of her bed with the last thought; now the memories came into the New Kid’s brain pretty fast considering what had just happened, time travel and all. Her parents had died, South Park had become a hellhole where everyone was high as a kite, beating and killing each other every single day because Christmas was every day by law.

So many things happening, but so many things had been different this time around, just like her parents not fighting against each other, screaming at each other and making home anything but a home; now they were off wine and pot brownies, neither had been affected by the cheesied drugs that had been put out by Cartman… or Mitch, things were still too weird for the New Kid to know what the fuck had happened with that fatass.

If the New Kid could remember correctly, that last time traveling fart had been powerful enough to send her and Coon back in time when she was a little kid, which had allowed the Kid to finally know about her past and the reasons why they had to hide, which in turn had caused a whole Butterfly Effect thingy and saved the Kid’s parents, which had been a weird experience all on itself. Also, the New Kid had the chance to kick and punch the shit out of Cartman after all the insanity and grief he had caused.

Getting her heart back to normal after the rush of memories, the New Kid removed the thick blanket and got out of bed, knowing that it wouldn’t be possible to get back to sleep, not with the remnants of adrenaline still coursing through the New Kid’s system. With one last yawn and a stretch the Kid was ready to face one more insanity fueled day on the quiet mountain town of South Park.

That’s when the true strange things began to happen, because opening her bedroom's door was… not a Crab People that was masquerading as her parents, or Mitch coming to take revenge or an alien ready to take the New Kid into a spaceship. It was just Dad with a big grin on his face… and lipstick on his cheek; it would take some time to get used to this happy, loving and very open version of their parents.

“Hey cutie pie, I see you are up, hope you had a good night’s sleep, I think Mom is making her special pancakes this morning,” it was so weird to see that man with such a carefree smile on his face; the New Kid usually remembered him with a pained expression every time they interacted, or at least a little fatalistic, but considering how their lives were before the Butterfly Effect… ah, should it be Butterfart Effect?

“Sure Dad,” and then everything became like, ten different kinds of weird as the New Kid was left astounded at what had just happened, did… those words were real? Were true words truly coming out of the New Kid’s mouth? Apparently this was something good because Dad only smiled even wider.

“Hey, seems like therapy really worked champ, don’t take too long, you know Mom’s pancakes taste better still hot from the pan,” and then he went, closing the door behind him and leaving the New Kid still flabbergasted at what had happened. Looking at herself on the mirror that she had on the wall, something that apparently she have always had in all her rooms across the years and cities, she couldn’t quite believe her eyes.

Its hair, something that the New Kid had been wearing very short since they arrived at South Park was now… a mess of curls, not bad looking, in that lazy/fashionable haircut that looked really stylish. Tugging at one curl, the New Kid realized that yes, this was not a wig, like those the New Kid used to wear when they as a group were playing Stick of Truth or Superheroes, this was real to deal hair.

Did the Butterfart Effect do this too? It was quite a conundrum and sadly, for all the different talents the New Kid had shown before, quantum mechanics were not her forte. Maybe it would be a good idea to search out Morgan Freeman and ask him about the effects of altering the timeline if someone was capable of helping them in this aspect it was him.

Still, for now maybe it would be best to get ready for school, because, really? After so many days of cold breakfast and basically none-existent family time in the house, it didn’t sound so bad to take a break. And that’s when the other shoe dropped, because, what was right there in front of the New Kid after opening the closet was something out of a previous adventure that brought mixed feelings from the New Kid.

It was the Red Riding Hood costume that the kids had found back at Lake Tardicaca… or something like that… it was hard to remember, but the New Kid recalled the memory when they found the costume in a bag that they found lying around. It had made the New Kid sigh, remembering everything that the New Kid… no, that she had lost across the years, just because she and her family had been targeted.

For so long, she had simply left behind that part of herself, firmly falling into the role her parents had gave her, that of a normal ‘boy’, hiding on a remote mountain town instead of being used for Government experiments. The New Kid remembered how her Mother had made her throw out all of her ‘girlie’ clothes, anything that seemed too inappropriate for a boy. So finding these clothes, alongside her role as ‘The Final Girl’ had been so fun… if one omitted the gruesome and strange parts of the adventure like… like… what was it? She couldn’t remember quite well, something had happened in Lake Tardicaca, but she couldn’t remember it, weird.

The New Kid simply shrugged before taking her normal gender neutral clothes and tried not to think about the rest of the armament on display on the back of her closet; not those plastic and cardboard weapons that the kids used when playing the Stick of Truth, but the real Last Girl weapons that she used to send people to the E.R.

A quick change and a trip to the bathroom later, the New Kid found herself in front of a delicious looking stack of pancakes, complete with strawberries, maple syrup and whip cream on top.

“Good morning sweetheart, now, eat well because you have a long morning on school,” her mom was also cheery, way more than normal, which was at the same time bizarre and heartwarming to the New Kid; so without further ado, the New Kid started digging on the extremely delicious stack of pancakes, just for her to choke on her bite.

After recovering her breath, the New Kid could only look in complete shock at the date on her phone, it couldn’t be right; she had to look at the newspaper in the table and then turn on the TV just to see it wasn’t a misprint or something dumb like that, but no, there was nothing wrong on her cellphone.

Right there on the TV, on one corner of the news show was the date… it was a month ago, this was the day when they started playing superheroes and all the pains and blessings it brought, when they ditched medieval and went Superhero Franchise war full one, what… the… fuck?!

At that moment, her phone began to shake and play a song from The Cure, so, that could only mean one person, an individual that the New Kid knew a little, someone the New Kid could call an ally in the future, but right now they barely knew each other.

“Henrietta?”

“Clementine,” oh shit, she had said the New Kid’s name, so this was serious “what the fuck did your time farts do this time?”


	2. Now there are Three, Now there is Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things heat up and Clementine decides for herself.

I want to be alone  
I need to touch each stone  
Face the grave that I have grown  
I want to be alone  
Before all the days are gone  
And darker walls are bent and torn  
To pass the time of those who mourn  
I want to be alone  
Rivers that run anywhere  
Are in my hand and just up the stair  
Past the eyes of those who care  
Who can never be alone  
Changes that were not meant to be  
Tow the hours of my memory  
Sing a song of love to me  
To say you must never  
Never be alone  
The tears…

I remember the rain, it is one of my only memory, one that sometimes I don’t know if it a memory or just a dream; is it just a daydream or a fever? My memories are fragments, broken parts of a mirror that I’ve never been able to fix, since there are never enough pieces to fill the frame. I can only see an incomplete form, never knowing who it is watching who, what past is the truth, or what me wants to see the mirror.

I think, therefore I exist?

Maybe I’ve never known, maybe there has been no one before all this, just an empty canvas looking at an empty space, with nothing filling the empty space.

Before the Stick of Truth, who was I? Who was the New Kid? I can’t remember; all those days just a fragmented mess of lies and deception as we run and keep on running until we arrived to a strange place, a strange town where nothing is what it seems and the bizarre is just an everyday event.

I can only keep watching the mirror, wanting to know who I am now; Am I the New Kid of before? Can I even be that mysterious figure once more? Never talk, always suffer, always be blamed and persecuted?

Fuck.

That sounds way too emo.

I am the kid that kicked the ass of every single thing that tried to shame me or attack me, so screw it, I can do this, I can be… whatever the fuck I am supposed to be, I can do it, I can simply… lie.

Who the fuck am I kidding? That’s never gonna work, not now when I was supposed to have everything I wanted; friends, parents that love each other, who respect each other and who are truthful with me. I have a life where I can be myself, or as close to myself I can be, if only I can remember what the hell I am supposed to be.

I don’t have to worry about the government now that the agency has been destroyed, thanks indirectly to Kenny, who I still want to kick his ass until kingdom come.

Is it wrong that I hate Kenny more than I do Eric? At least Eric was an idiot that let himself believe what he was doing was the action of someone else… which truthfully, I’m not even 100% sure that was the case, considering all the insanity that makes its home in this small Colorado town; was Mitch Conner just another plan of Eric or was it real? I guess investigating that is something else to do this time around now that I have the chance.

Seriously, even what happened to my parents was just indirectly caused by him. Sure, he wanted my DNA to make something even better, but knowing him, that was mostly a half-baked idea and it involved something like taking a blood sample… maybe? I’m not even sure if he knew what the fuck was going on inside that stupid laboratory from hell. Shit, even Jurassic Park had better installations than that creepy ass obsessed weirdo’s mansion.

Kenny, well, he almost sold me to the government… all because of a stupid branch that did absolutely nothing; and he still wonders why I don’t talk with him, well, I didn’t talk with him… time travel, holy crap, it is such a fucking mess to get everything under control or make anything have any fucking sense.

Time travel is still not my forte, no matter how my farts can alter space and time allowing me four seconds of time stop abilities or how I can ‘glitch’ things into a previous state; beyond the fact that bad Tex-Mex food awakened time farts in me and I could use them in my fights, I didn’t try to understand what was going on, or what type of medicines Mom and Dad used on me to give me those.

Things just gets worse and worse considering who is right in front of me giving one of the worst death glares she was capable of; well, it wasn’t quite a death glare, in fact, it wasn’t much of a glare at all considering she was a goth and the Goths weren’t exactly known for big emotional expressions. 

Henrietta still had her bored-out-of-my-fucking-skull type of look the other Goth kids had perfected in their whole fight against posers and conformists, which to this day still don’t make sense what the fuck they were trying to do or what is their whole point.

I hope she is not expecting me to break down and explain things, because she will then wait for years until I am spitting out information out of my mouth, let’s just say I’m very good at the silent treatment and she should know by now; again, time travel shenanigans.

“Well? Didn’t you and your lame ass friends rewrite the fucking timeline or something lame like that?” Well, look at that, it didn’t take long. Still, I have been a guest several times on the Biggle’s house, which by the way, it was so disconcerting to meet such lovely people and know that Henrietta was their daughter, unlike Crunch, which was an alien that had been adopted by them.

“I… I think so… I mean, we went back in… time,” it still feels weird, talking aloud instead of using a notebook or just mimicking what I wanted; my blank face and inability to express myself had always been a problem for me wherever I went, but it was worse in South Park since people WANTED to talk with me, instead of constantly ignoring me like most kids or adults in other cities where I have lived.

It didn’t hurt, not like when we first arrived at South Park and started playing Stick of Truth, when just trying to say my name made my throat protest due to misuse. Before all this mayhem it was so easy to keep silent, with apathetic adults and kids that just thought I was a weird and wanted nothing to do with. It was easier to hide myself, to use my silence as a shield against the whole world. I wasn’t a goth in the whole ‘I hate all posers and conformists and I fight back drinking coffee and smoking cigars while listening goth music’, no, it was more like an ‘I don’t care about the world’ middle finger to everyone around me.

Here, in South Park? Even with everything happening, I was the least weird person in the whole town, I mean, there were freaking gnomes that stole underpants, aliens that liked to do… things with others and even creatures that came out of cheap sci-fi movies like those crab thingies. Me being silent was just seen as me trying to be cool and hot shit. I just never talked, I just didn’t know how to socialize considering that whenever my ‘powers’ when out of control I could generate riots and mass hysteria.

“Yes, well, then explain why the fuck I woke up remembering things that never happened, because I am sure in some way this is your fault.” 

“Ah, explain these ‘things that never happened… please?’

“Oh, just us fighting against vamp kids in stupid Casa Bonita, so please, I know we were ‘allies’ with that dumb wizards and warriors geek play you lame conformists did,” she says taking a long drag of her cigarette, I hope Mom doesn’t asks were the smell comes from, but at least those were normal tobacco ones, unlike the ones Towelie sold on his store “but is another when you try to get me involved in another stupid adventure of yours.”

“Look, I have no idea what’s going on, I just woke up and saw the date; doing time traveling farts take a lot out of me and is not as if I could let one out of that kind while sleeping,” I said to her as I walked back and forth on my room; it was nice to see the laundry box was not in the middle like in the previous timeline. Back then I had to do my own laundry considering Mom was either drunk out of her ass or about to have a mental breakdown and Dad has always been abysmal at washing, he never understood how the washing machine worked.

“Then, please explain why we are able to remember the future?”

“Maybe we had visions about the future? We were returned by some lingering effects of all the magic around? An Elder One’s plan coming to fruition? This is South Park, there are so many different hypotheses we can think about and many would be correct.”

“Well, then why I had to be dragged into this too?” Henrietta said sitting down on top of my bed; now that I think about it, my room has changed a bit, maybe more effects of my tampering with the timeline. Now, instead of the usual boyish blue and yellow blanket, the new blanket had the yellow, but a soft red that looked almost pink; it truly didn’t look completely gender neutral or ultra-boyish like before which was… good. Don’t take me wrong, I still hate most of the cutesy wootsy stuff out there in the market, but sometimes, the urge to let the girl inside of me free took root, like many of the different armors that I used while playing Stick of Truth, even more when I was inducted as an ‘honorary girl’, if they had only known.

“Hell if I know; random causality? Unless the answers start raining down, I have no clue of what the fuck we got ourselves into, but I do know someone that would help us… maybe,” I was about to rant even more, but the door of my room was opened and one of the boys went inside, it was none other than Butters.

“My Liege, I had an incredible dream, I dreamed that I was offered money to stop you all, but then we joined together and were the good guys and that I also became ungroundable, but them, I saw the date this morning and I thought, geez whiz Butters, Dad this time grounded us into last month with how bad we were behaving!” Poor Leopold was talking like a machine gun, something he usually did when he was nervous; right now he was wearing his Paladin Butters suit, so it was obvious he was still prepared for the fight we will have later on this morning.

“Butters, hey, breathe, take a second to calm down; first of all, we still need to talk about you getting those 20 grand, second, yes, we went back in time.”

“20 thousand? Who will be dumb enough to give him all that money?” Oh right, Henrietta wasn’t part of the whole franchise thing, so she knew nothing about Butters’ villain side.

“Believe me, there is someone that will do it for a very big reason.”

“So, that wasn’t a dream? Like me fighting Dad?”

“And beating his ass? Oh no, it wasn’t a dream,” in fact, I’m pretty sure that part was one of the few I thoroughly enjoyed for the whole reason of how much of a fucking asshole his dad is.

“Oh hamburgers, you mean I didn’t dream it all?”

“I’m afraid not, I… I think something happened and we… we are in the past, in… another timeline,” oh goodness, it still felt wrong to talk this much, but it felt nice to finally say what I wanted, like a big middle finger to my past. Screw you world, I do what I want for the first time in… well, technically since I arrived at South Park “maybe?”

“So that means that I can keep the money?” Sweet little Butters, he wasn’t a very good villain, too nice and cute… in that weird little brother/puppy thing that he exuded, which wasn’t anything new; but Butters, her best friend of them all, no matter what happened, no matter which side they fought on, they always went back to being a team and nothing could stop them, not even the monsters that loved this town so much.

“Leopold?”

“Oh hamburgers, I liked having that money, and my minions had money to send to their families,” oh right, the illegal minions from south the border, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to keep them on their pocket if something happens.

“Why don’t you take the money into another account until we solve this whole thing, okay buddy?”

“If you say so my liege, but, we were playing super heroes, right? How did we get here then?”

“I still don’t know, but, if I know about what is going to happen, then, we will have to finish a fight before we get there,” was the only thing I could tell him before someone knocked on the front door “and that’s our cue Paladin Butters, ready to defend the kingdom one last time?” Say whatever you want, even if I never smiled or reacted to things around me, I still loved to play with this bunch of idiots, they ARE my idiots after all.

“Of course King Douchebag!” ugh, I still hated that fucking title, next opportunity I have, I’ll punch Cartman hard enough for giving a title so stupid; before I went out I looked at Henrietta who was simply ignoring us all as if this was her own room, then she turned to look at me with a sneer.

“What?” I simply smiled and moved my head in the direction of the front door “are you fucking insane? That was one time, just one and I don’t plan on repeating that mistake.”

“Come on, the chance to kick the shit out of a bunch of posers and mindless followers with absolutely no repercussion?” I knew her too well, because I saw the flicker of excitement on her eyes; she could say whatever she wanted about being a complete goth and how much she wanted to fight whatever the hell goths did, but in the end, she enjoyed the action too much, she loved to be in the frontline and sow chaos.

“Fine, but if I ‘accidentally’ burn one of you dorks don’t say I didn’t warn you,” this shouldn’t feel like home, but somehow it did.

\-----

For Clementine, it was a new sense of deja-vu seeing her friends wearing the elves and wizards robes and armors, not to mention to weird weapons and flowery speech once more, maybe she had grown used to the more direct, more savage usage of speech and actions that were allowed in the form super hero hijinks, still, all with due time.

“My liege, the moors are…”

“Yeah yeah yeah, I know, let me send their asses back to their mommies, I need to de-stress!” for the rest of the gang, hearing Clementine talk was still a new development, so much that those were left Kyle looking at their leader with some apprehension.

“Dude, I don’t know what happened at Lake Tardicaca, but boy, you are intense these days.”

“Years of pent up frustration does that to you,” what happened next, it was normal, just defeating with ease waves and waves of moors, even Henrietta seemed to have some fun, or whatever passed as fun for her; but the fun couldn’t continue, because just as they were ready to get into the last fight, the boy dressed as a raccoon appeared derailing that storyline and plunging everyone into the darkness of comic book geekdom.

“So… now what do we do?” one Kevin Stoley said as the rest of the ids dressed as ‘moors’ simply watched as the rest of the kids went home to change into their superhero personas.

“Really? This is how all this started? Call me when you are ready to see all the time traveling things, like hell I’m going to waste time with you conformists,” and she then walked out just like that, but Clementine had time to read her moods, in Henrietta-speech, that was basically see ya later.

“Well Kevin, that means that Order of the Stick is over and is time for super heroes,” then she stopped, after all, this was when she started all over again, maybe, just maybe, she had the chance to change things this time around “hey Kevin, why don’t you go by my house later? I need to ask you something,” and with a simple wave and Kevin’s affirmative answer, she didn’t go into Cartman’s basement, no, not time. She was not going to be another tool, another piece, a silent walking statue; it was time for the little prey, to become the hunter.

As she went into her house, already ignoring the chuckles and sound of kisses -it was obvious that her parents weren’t expecting her back so fast- Clementine went into her room, into her closet and choose for herself; no more Douchebag or whatever other stupid word Cartman wanted, it was time for her to be who she wanted to be and it all started with the red riding hood costume and the weapons of the Final Girl… she had an idea.

It was time for the world to meet The Red Bloody Hood.


End file.
